He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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