I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
