i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Randomize
