At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
