On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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