We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
worst night to have a conscience
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
