is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
