When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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