giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
