i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ugly people sure do ruin things
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
