Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
