I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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