I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
