I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
