im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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