So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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