My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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