mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
