At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
