i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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