Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
