ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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