remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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