Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
