you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
