I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
