Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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