Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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