Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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