Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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