You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
