You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
