Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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