like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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