fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
