I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
