You just made me feel so damn special
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
