I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize