Me. At least after what I've been through.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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