If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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