Can Purell be used as lube?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
