I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
