My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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