someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
