The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
