i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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