My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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