then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
