For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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