im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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