i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
