I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
