Grow some girl-balls and come out already
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
