So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
