Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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