I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize