So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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