I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
