I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
