how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
